I thought we might get along
So I went ahead and wrote this song.
Maybe I was wrong; babe, it’s been so long,
And I can’t remember why.

I know you awake in terror,
You cannot bear nightmares: your
Grammar errors; think of something fairer,
Baby, please try not to cry.

Babe, you’re such a drill instructor,
“Conjunction Junction” train conductor,
Sentence constructor, heart abductor;
Can we give this thing a try?

Baby, I thought you and me
Had a pretty good chance to be
Something more than “we”– Oh, did I say “me”?
I meant to say “you and I.”

Baby, it was just a joke;
I’m sure that there are lots of folks
Who’ve all misspoke or maybe choked,
And words have gone awry.

C’mon baby, why you leavin’?
There’s no way that I’m believin’
There’s no reason. Would you even
Care if I were to die?

Babe, you’re such a grammar nazi,
Turn me down because you’d rather not see
Me phrase my thoughts the way I oughtn’t be–
I guess this is goodbye.