Posts Tagged ‘monster’

Entry #29 (03/19/97)

Monday, March 21st, 2011 by ahorner

I met Aldon today. I don’t think I like him very much. He tends to stand over me and look down at me with those menacing, muddy-brown eyes. His fur is mangy and patchy, thick in some spots but thin in others. The whiskers on the left side of his face are all shorter than the whiskers on the right. I didn’t want to ask him why. I don’t like his voice. It’s wheezy, raspy, and above all, threatening.

He talks a lot even though I try not to ask him questions. I think he works for the hospital. He told me he was going to keep appearing until I took my medication. I told him I didn’t trust him. He said I shouldn’t. I don’t think he’s a hallucination like the others were. He’s too… scary. I don’t think my brain would create something like Aldon. I don’t think my brain would create something that wants to hurt me.

Aldon doesn’t like for me to keep this journal. He says I’m only encouraging bad habits by writing down the things I think while I’m “in this condition”. He uses those words a lot. He won’t tell me what condition that is, though. I tried asking the nurse about Aldon when he stepped out earlier. She didn’t seem to know who he was. When Aldon got back, he knew I had asked about him. He was angry. He scratched me. The nurse asked later where I got the cuts on my cheek, and I told her I must have scratched myself in my sleep. I’m not going to mention Aldon to her any more. Maybe my brain did create him. Maybe my brain hates me.

He keeps standing by my bed. He seems like he’s waiting for something. I don’t know what it is, unless he’s just waiting for me to go insane. If I have to keep looking at this mangy cat, I don’t think that’s too far off. He makes me uncomfortable, with his crooked smile and crooked gait. Cats shouldn’t walk around on two legs like that. Cats shouldn’t be tall or loom over people. Aldon is a lot of things that a cat shouldn’t be. I want him to go away.

Stroke of midnight

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011 by ahorner

There was paint splattered on the floor by his feet. He contemplated how heavy his eyelids had become, and how heavy the brush in his hand felt. He struggled to put something, anything on the empty canvas in front of him. He tried to imagine his first brushstroke, to visualize a line of blue or green or striking red breaking up the monotonous white that seemed to stretch for miles in front of him. He felt his brush take on another ten pounds of weight as his mind drew a blank.

Tick, tock.

His deadline was drawing near. He was supposed to be unveiling his latest masterpiece at an art show in the morning, but his masterpiece thus far amounted to an empty canvas filled with an overwhelming sense of worthlessness and self-hatred. If he could harness these emotions and turn them into something for the public and critics to look at, to ooh and ahh and rave over, that would be one thing. But these thoughts and feelings refused to take form in his mind, opting instead to taunt and tease him.  He sat in front of his canvas and bided his time, long having given up on producing anything, and instead trying to come to terms with his failure as an artist.

Tick, tock.

His eyelids finally grew too heavy, falling down in front of his eyes and blocking out the sight of the empty, mocking canvas.

Tick, tick.

A black line fell straight down, dividing the nothingness. Four more black lines branched off of the first, suggesting long, spindly arms and legs for the headless torso that was taking form. The limbs ended in confused curves and spirals, flickering shadows where the hands and feet should have been. In a few small flicks of the brush, coattails sprouted from a slender waist, framing seemingly endless thighs and calling attention to the creature’s sexlessness. A few more strokes implied a collar where the neck should have been. And finally, a head began to take form. A single elliptical motion gave it shape. The form was fleshed out with shadows, highlights and endless detailing. At the end of it all: there was no face. There was the implication of a face — the indents, the cheekbones, the jawline, but the creature had no eyes, no mouth, no nose. Somehow it still stared, and it still smiled.

Tock.

His eyes snapped open, and he uttered a startled shout that was cut short by the realization that it had only been a dream. The canvas before him was every bit as blank as it had been when he dozed off, however long ago that had been. The nightmarish creature that had taken form in his restless mind was still tucked safely away in the world of his imagination, though the memory of its features was still fresh and vivid in his memory. For an instant, he was tempted to bring the creature to life on the canvas; he had found his inspiration, so why let it slip away? As soon as he began to lift his brush, however, his heart was filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. He lowered his hand once more.

Tick, tock.

He was perfectly awake when a peculiar darkness began stealing over the blank canvas before him. It climbed from the bottom of the frame up toward the top, the silhouette of a smooth, featureless head followed by an all-too-familiar pointed collar which gave way to a withered husk of a ribcage. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up in hackles as he slowly realized that what was stealing over the canvas was not paint. It was a shadow. He tried to scream, but fingers like snakes curled around his throat and ended the sound before it began.

Tick, tick.

The artist was never seen again. Popular conjecture was that after completing his magnus opum, he had retired to a tropical island somewhere, to spend the rest of his days painting beaches and sunsets. It was understandable, one critic opined — his final masterpiece was so clearly a work of raw emotional intensity that a permanent vacation was merited. For a few months following the show, pundits wrote that no painter had ever gone out on a stronger note than this. The painting, composed of a series of masterfully overlapping red splatters, would go on to be cited as the finest modern example of an artist putting his life on the canvas.

Tock.

Pretty little dresses

Sunday, February 27th, 2011 by ahorner

Franz liked going through the pile of pretty little dresses in the attic. He liked the silk and satin, the lace and ribbons. He adored the frilly little bonnets, and felt so beautiful when he looked at himself in the antique mirror, flecks of grime only partially obscuring his view of the white stockings pulled tight up around his legs. “You’re such a pretty little girl, Fran,” he chirped merrily to himself.

There were bags under his eyes from weeks of sleepless nights. There were scars along his forearms where tiny fingernails had dug in and left deep furrows. A piece of his earlobe had been bitten off. He had taught that one a lesson, he had. He had spanked her until long after she fell limp on his lap and stopped crying. After all, he had only been trying to play, but they always resisted him. None of the scars or defects changed how pretty he felt when he saw himself in his favorite little blue checkered dress, though. This one had belonged to sweet little Betsy.

He knew they were always laughing at him, making fun of him behind his back. He knew that mothers and fathers knew his secret and would tell their daughters. Their innocent, beautiful little daughters. It made Franz sick to think of how these young minds were being corrupted by the grown-ups they respected and admired. The truth was that growing up did something terrible to them, to all of them, and he just wanted to save the little girls from that fate. So he took them, and told them how pretty they were, and kept them in a room where they would never have to grow up.

He was setting them free, but none of them seemed to appreciate it. This one screamed, that one kicked, another bit and cursed. When he saw an angelic little face twisted in fury and hate, his heart sunk, and he knew he had been too late. If he let her go, she would just betray him to the grown-ups that had already claimed her, so he took his frustrations out on her little body, added her dress to the pile in the attic, and added her ashes to the urn in the cellar. For every thing, a place and a purpose.