She had been kept waiting for weeks. The woman opened her door and eagerly invited the plumber in. He entered and went to work, dealing with leaking fluids for half an hour. Once everything was dry and the woman was satisfied, he put away his equipment and left.

She lay across his lap, purring as he softly stroked her back. “Good girl,” he sighed, adjusting her collar slightly.

The date went well, and she invited him up to her apartment for some coffee.

The boys had been keeping it a secret, but every day after school they went out to Farmer Gregory’s field, where Joe would watch Frank shoot his gun. One day, Frank even let Joe play with his gun, after making him swear never to tell anybody about it.

The couple went at it for several hours straight, every single day. Eventually it got so loud that their neighbor called the police.

A married couple hired an interior decorator to spruce up their home. He suggested hanging some family photos and portraits. That evening, the husband heard a banging noise coming from upstairs, and upon investigation, found the interior decorator nailing his wife against the bedroom wall. He offered to help, but was politely declined.